Burnt Offerings
by Juliana

“Josh, I don’t burn dinner very often, right?” I asked.
“Sure,” he replied.
“Okay,” I said. “Then no smart comments tonight!”
A few days earlier Josh had remarked, “Well, if there’s one thing you do well, it’s make a good dinner.” I had given him a strange look at the time, and he realized that his “compliment” hadn’t sounded as kind as he had intended it. This was after a day when I had done very few useful things, other than make the dinner he was commenting on. We both knew the implication behind the compliment was, “At least you can do one thing…” We had both laughed as we knew he hadn’t really meant to put voice to the thought we had both already had.
But tonight I sat looking at the disastrous spoils of burnt rice, wondering how it had happened. I’d only been distracted a few minutes but that was all the time required to burn the pot of rice to a crisp. A foul odor filled our house, making me feel sick.
It was about an hour later and the house still reeked, despite the open windows which were now allowing a steady stream of frigid air into the house. My husband was on the phone asking his mother how to deal with a belligerent little boy. (We figured she ought to know, after raising my husband.)
I lifted the lid on the non-“Burnt Offerings” pot of food. A pleasant smell wafted up to me. Smiling, I invited my husband over to get a reprieve from the house full of stench. Still talking on the phone, he leaned over the pot of food and smelled it. Lifting up his face, he crinkled up his nose in the Universal Symbol of I-Just-Smelled-Something-Terrible. Stunned, I dropped my jaw and uttered a grunt of disbelief as he walked away, oblivious.
No, there’s no lesson to learn. I’m not going to make some smart comment to summarize the whole story into one brilliant quip. I’ll just say…to all the other women in the world who have had a similar experience, you’re NOT ALONE!